A New Team

I suppose I should re-start this blog by filling in some of the gaps in my story.  I was married for nearly 8 years to a man I believed was incredible.  We met working as backpacking guides in the summers in Colorado.  We shared the same faith and interest in helping others.  Our marriage began well after a brief courtship.  Our gifts complimented each other- I was the creative visionary; he was the task-oriented detail guy.  When we had kids the parenting gig was easy for us as a team- we could get things done and had fun doing it.

About four years into our marriage I noticed my husband pulling away from me emotionally.  When we had our sons all his energy went into them.  We no longer spent time together, went on dates, or pursued knowing each other.  We were both not the people we were when we got married.  This bothered me greatly but I thought we were just in a rough spot in our marriage.  I figured it would blow over when our kids were older.

Then came the announcement...my husband was gay.  And not only was he gay but he had been with several men throughout our marriage.  Trust forever broken.  Visions forever shattered.  I was devastated.

This blog is about the journey my boys and I have been on since their dad and I separated nearly three years ago.  Since the day of the announcement we have moved to a little home in my dream area of Kansas City.  We have had good days as a team and really bad days as a team.  I have had moments when I thought, "I can do the single mom thing.  In fact, I may even be well suited for this role."  And then there have been the moments of melting down, yelling too much, watching yet another TV show, or realizing this isn't at all what I thought things would look like.

There is one thing I do feel good about.  My boys and I are a team.  Each day we take on our new normal as a team.  We work together or sometimes against each other as a team. We believe 3 is a good number for a team.  We have each other's backs.  And while we have to constantly modify, our new team is starting to be even better than the old.